(no subject)

[colonelcannibal]

 *The stream where Ives prefers to swim is cold, even in the heat of summer. Unnaturally so, perhaps. At its bank lays a cave, and there his secrets hide.

*The cave is mostly filled with bones. Skulls, jaws, fingers, the occasional arm or leg bone sucked clean of marrow. More complete skeletons deeper in, showing how his food preferences have evolved over time--or perhaps he simply learned more recipes.

*In the back of the cave, where the old bodies are deepest, a tree has grown. It exits through a hole in the roof that was undeniably carved by human hands--or what most people would call human, at least, no matter what their owner had to say on the matter.

*A farmer could tell you that the tree is an apple tree. The superstitious would have reason to think it the very tree of good and evil knowledge that doomed mankind to die. If so, however, it came from a most sinister Eden.

*Ives, being what he is, sees nothing wrong with sitting against the tree and eating the apples. They are by far the best he's ever eaten.*

Comments

[dr_jd_watson]

[James passes among the bones with a tight frown on his face. He's seen worse, but what those piled remains represent still sickens him. For preference, he'd rather be anywhere but here. Fate, however, has driven him to this point. He hopes he can do some good, effect some change, but he rather doubts it. He steps into the recesses of the cave with more resentment than fear, staring down at the man under the tree.]

I brought your bloody pig...

[colonelcannibal]

*Ives smiles broadly and comes to greet him.* Would you like to swim with me? Have an apple, perhaps? The apples are delicious. *James can probably guess the reason for that.*

My apologies about upsetting you, by the way; I don't always realize how things sound to other people. I do so hope we can still be friends! *It's said with a rather unnerving smile.* I'm sure you'll be fine.

[dr_jd_watson]

If you want to be my friend, you can start by not enjoying your meals quite so much. I have neither the stomach nor the tolerance to accept casual brutality as a way of life, nor should you expect if of a gentleman.

Keep your apples. I'd rather eat a mushroom picked off a pile of horse manure.

[colonelcannibal]

Ah. *He nods.* I can promise not to vivisect anyone, at least. More than that is probably a bit beyond me.

Humans make such good fertilizer, though. Best not to waste the potential. *He thinks a moment.* I bet you could grow mushrooms. I quite liked them when I was human, if I remember right . . .

i think i'm going to get sick of using his angry face, lol

[dr_jd_watson]

(ooc: and to think, when I made the account, I almost didn't include an angry icon because he uses that face so seldom)

If I catch you even thinking about vivisecting anyone, you'll be the one on the operating table.

And I personally think mushrooms taste like what they grow on, so why would I waste my time cultivating them?

[colonelcannibal]

Good thing you can't read thoughts, then. It's not like I can always help where my mind goes. Not torturing people is simple, though.

Not you specifically, if you don't like them.

[dr_jd_watson]

[James ignores the comment on reading thoughts. He may not be able to, but he's not above asking a favour from one of his friends who can, if it comes down to it. More than one telepath owes him a favour, after all.]

There used to be a man who lived on my father's estate who grew mushrooms. Seemed awfully hard work for something you could pick up off the forest floor for free...

[colonelcannibal]

Probably because you know the ones you're growing aren't poisonous?

[dr_jd_watson]

I gather a professional can easily tell the difference.

[colonelcannibal]

Not always easily. Plus, a farm is more reliable other ways.

We seem to have wandered off topic, however. Namely, do you like to swim?

[dr_jd_watson]

I prefer not to, thank you.

[In fact, James has done rather a lot of swimming since his resurrection. It was a vital part of his physical therapy for years and he's kept up the habit. But it's a form of relaxation for him, and one had better not relax around an unreformed cannibal. Refraining is simply wiser...]

[colonelcannibal]

*He nods, then stands and walks out of the cave. He slides out of his top layer of clothing and into the river with a soft smile.* That feels good.

If it helps, I have reasons for what I do. It's nor just mindless sadism.

[dr_jd_watson]

It may not have been mindless at first, but sadism is an easy habit to lapse into and a hard one to shake. I've seen it all before...

[colonelcannibal]

It was more about having someone to talk to, honestly. There have been decades where my only good chance to talk to other people has been . . . well. Dinner conversation.

I suppose I could have tried to make friends sooner, but I don't exactly connect well with normal people.

[dr_jd_watson]

All it takes is effort. You're not my first flesh-eating monster. Most manage to keep their dietary habits well-separated from their social lives. You just stopped trying at some point...

[colonelcannibal]

More like I didn't know where to start. It was quite a while before my immediate response to any kind of positive or interesting social contact didn't involve trying to change the other person. Nearly got myself killed once or twice with that little issue . . .

I suppose you have a pistol close at hand, hmm? If not a rifle. You should, since you definitely smell better than the pig. Not that I won't do my best to stick to it, but nobody's perfect.

[dr_jd_watson]

We all have our instincts. What makes us human is our ability to overcome what our bodies tell us we should be doing. Instinct is no excuse.

[He moves his jacket aside to reveal a pistol of slightly unconventional make. He's been told by his godson that one bullet from this particular model would be enough to bring an elephant down, if aimed at the chest. Personally, if it comes down to it, he plans on shooting twice: once to the heart, once to the head.]

[colonelcannibal]

I never claimed to still be human. Quite the opposite. But I am trying.

Lovely. *He looks at it with distaste. He's never been that fond of guns, even when it was him using them.* Do try not to get me killed if it comes down to it, hmm? I have no desire to see what happens if I'm shot in the face, but I honestly expect it would be bad for both of us.

*He gives James a stare that belies his cheerful attitude for a moment before returning to his swim.*

[dr_jd_watson]

Human is a state of mind. It's a thing we accomplish through force of will, not a physical state of being.

And, don't worry, if I have to shoot you, it'll be the last thing you ever have to worry about...

[colonelcannibal]

You are in a mood today. *He shakes his head.* You ought to come swimming with me! It'll take your, ah, mind off things.

[dr_jd_watson]

I rather think not, no. You enjoy yourself, though. I'm fine up here with a recently dead pig for company. Her name was Lucy, if you're interested...

[colonelcannibal]

Oh, I plan to enjoy myself quite a bit. *He raises an eyebrow.* Who names pigs?

[dr_jd_watson]

A lot of people. They're lovely animals, really, once you get to know them.

[colonelcannibal]

And yet you're fine with eating them? Your moral high ground is slipping again.

[dr_jd_watson]

The difference between you and I, sir, is that I treat my prey with both respect and compassion. Get back to me when you can say the same.